I Was A Fun Mom Today

It was 11:30—an hour and a half till nap time, that oasis in a mother's day. I had already been for a walk, made breakfast, cleaned up from breakfast, dressed everyone, started two loads of laundry, read a story to the kids, worked on letters with Joshua and supervised Lucy's workbook activities. As we sat at the table drinking tea, I suddenly remembered that I'd been wanting to make cookies with the kids. As they sipped their hot beverage I gathered the ingredients for my favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe. Instead of just getting it done as quickly as possible (you know, the sooner to eat the cookies!) I let them help. Lucy dumped in sugar, Joshua tried his hand at mixing, and they both unwrapped the butter. Sure, I did most of the work, but they felt included, especially when the mixing was done and the "nibbles" of dough could begin going around.

Waiting patiently is so hard!

Too late!

Finally, we could enjoy the fruits of our labors. Yummy!

Picking out the chocolate chips, of course.
Isn't that how you eat them?

Yes, they really were that good!

Eli, if you read this at work, let me assure you that
there are plenty waiting for you when you get home.

An Early Spring Walk in the Woods

Since Exodus is closed on Monday Eli gets to spend the day with us. This week we took the kids on a walk through the Mount Talbert Nature Park. It's a small butte just down the road from our home with very nicely maintained walking paths. Mostly it's used by joggers, but I love rambling through it with the kids. There's lots of birds, ferns, and moss, and in the summer the sunny meadow is full of blooming daisies. This time we even caught a glimpse of two deer just before they bounded away into the trees!

I like to call it "the Golden Wood." With the sun streaming through and all the yellowy moss on the trees, it takes on a warm, golden hue that is almost magical.

The first time we came here we brought our new stroller with its snazzy all-terrain wheels. But it was no match for the roots and rocks that we encountered at certain parts of the path. This time we knew better, but we should have planned some sort of transportation for an unsteady and quite slow eighteen-month-old.

I think she enjoyed the trip from her comfy perch up on Daddy's shoulders.

This is Joshua's senior portrait pose.

Just kidding! He's still just a little boy!

My three kids, all smiling for the camera for once!

Esther: Eighteen Months Old

We had some lovely sunlight filtering through the window in my bedroom a while ago so I dressed up my little girl and we had a home photo shoot. At eighteen months, it's fun to watch the baby-ness fade as the toddler-ness blossoms. She still cuddles like a baby, though!

Esther's name means "Star" and she has a twinkling personality!

More Household Help

"Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher;

"Vanity of vanities, all is vanity."

What profit has a man from all his labor

In which he toils under the sun?

...

All things are full of labor;

Man cannot express it.

The eye is not satisfied with seeing,

Nor the ear filled with hearing.

That which has been is what will be,

That which is done is what will be done,

And there is nothing new under the sun.

...

I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.

Sometimes the futility of my labors as a housewife just astound me. You know how it goes: by the time you fold a load of laundry, there's another pile that needs to be washed...you clean up the floor and then someone eats crackers for snack...you make the beds only to climb right back into them.... Every time you turn around something that you just finished needs to be done again!

Of course, if you've read Ecclesiastes, you know not only that this repetition is natural but also that you are not the first to be confounded by it all. One generation passes away, and another takes its place...the sun rises and sets...rivers run into the sea and the water returns to run its course again...and again...and again. The wind keeps on whirling about.

No, I don't go crazy while I'm doing housework, but I do tend to over-think it. That's why one of my birthday gifts from a friend is particularly special to me.

My friend Katelyn has been learning to knit. Whenever we get together she is stitching away--knit after purl, purl after knit--on wash cloths of various sizes, colors and patterns. It made me happy that she thought of me as she made this yellow cotton cloth and every time I use it I think of her. It reminds me that I'm not alone in this endless cycle of housework. It reminds me that there is more to life than doing dishes, but doing the dishes is good too. 

Here is what I have seen: It is good and fitting for one to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it is his heritage. As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God. For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps him busy with the joy of his heart. Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going. -Ecclesiastes 9:10

Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:

Fear God and keep His commandments,

For this is man’s all.

For God will bring every work into judgment,

Including every secret thing,

Whether good or evil.

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

Household Help

Have you ever heard that only a couple generations ago almost everyone had some sort of paid household help: a servant, maid, cook, handyman, chauffeur or any combination of the above? You either had household help or you were household help. Does this make you feel sorry for us poor 21st century people who have to do all our housework ourselves? Why don't you walk with me down to the servants' quarters in my home and I'll introduce you to the servants I have working for me.

Here is Mrs. Washer and Mr. Dryer (they both bobbed their heads and gave you a cheerful smile). They're married and together they do all my laundry. I give the clothes to Mrs. Washer and they come out clean. She passes them to Mr. Dryer (I usually have to help with this, though soon my children will be their little helpers) and when he's done with them they're crisp and dry. In the kitchen we have Mr. Oven. Unfortunately he's not a French Anatole and our food is only as good as I make it, but his fire never goes out and he never takes a day off. His right-hand helper is little Master Microwave who keeps busy doing the little jobs. Miss Vacuum is our upstairs maid. She's a lazy creature whom I have to push around. We also have Miss Fridge and Miss Freezer (they're attached at the hip, but it's a functioning relationship) and their older brother, Big Freezer. They take care of most of my preserving so I don't have to slave away all summer putting up food to eat later.

All of these servants require management, but the servants of old did too. Mine never bicker, they don't get offended, and (as long as I pay my electricity bill) I don't have to feed them or pay them.

Okay, enough of the cheesy personification. All I really wanted to say was that we just "hired" a new "servant." Meet Miss Dishwasher!

When I first got married we lived in your average apartment which had your average quality dishwasher. But I was the oldest of six kids. It had been years since I didn't have a sibling old enough to take care of the dishes after meals. Suddenly I was in my own home and not only did I have to clean up the kitchen after meals, I had to make the meals themselves...and vacuum...and clean the bathrooms...and do the laundry...etc. Sure there was just me and Eli, but I still had to figure out how to balance all these responsibilities. Quite frequently the dishes were just piled into the sink until later and the dishwasher sat empty.

Then we moved to the old red house. No dishwasher there. My only helpers were ye old soap and water (and a helpful husband). Suddenly it wasn't so convenient to just leave the dishes for later because then they would pile up! Living there helped me build habits of cleaning up after myself and doing the dishes after (almost) every meal.

Now our family has grown beyond two plates, two cups, two forks, and a pot and pan or two. There are three little people using dishes, dropping crumbs, and needing faces and hands washed. Meal prep and meal clean up both take more time and I have now have many new responsibilities like teaching letters and numbers. My nice landlords, after deciding to keep renting this apartment even after we move out, put in the new machine this morning (thanks Mom and Dad!).

Dear new housewife Self,

Your responsibilities are really quite simple. Before you know it there will be more dishes and no dishwasher. Seriously, how long does it take to take care of that little stack?

Love,

A busier You

The Boy Who Made Me a Mommy

This picture was taken when Joshua was exactly one day old. We had survived our first night together and I remember sitting there the next morning looking at each other, marveling at the new life that was beginning--for both of us. He was mine and I was his.

In January that little baby turned five! Once he was inside me; now he's half my height. He's still mine and I'm still his.

It's My Birthday!

I woke up today to a powdered sugar world. Snow clung to every branch of every tree until each one looked like a sugary confection fit to eat. These flowers from a friend were on the table providing kind of a funny combination of seasonal beauty (thank you, God, for hot houses!). Then the clouds separated and for a while we had blue sky and sunshine. Now when I look out the window the snow is falling again in thick, fat flakes putting me in my very own snow globe.

This year I turned 24 on the 24th. We call that a golden birthday and I was always disappointed as a kid that I would have to wait so long for mine to come around. Besides, I reasoned, I'd be so grown up by then I probably wouldn't care. Well, the year finally came and I decided: You know what? I do care. So I told Eli he'd better make it special. He didn't tell me what he had in mind, even though I kept telling him that surprising me was a big responsibility. I mean, what if I thought the big surprise was kind of lame? He kept dropping hints that he was making plans so I decided to trust him, but I had no idea what was up his sleeve.

So I was totally astonished when I walked in the door after our ultrasound on Monday to find just about every single one of my friends standing in the hall and in the dining room and in the kitchen and living room all yelling, "Happy birthday!" I love my friends and I love big parties so it was the perfect way to celebrate my once in a lifetime golden birthday. And I had no idea it was coming! As my heart rate settled and snacks and cake were put before me I began to make connections, like when he said this, what he meant was this! And that's why we went there then. It was a lovely party with plenty of loving people around to talk to, no matter which room I walked in. And it ended the way the best parties must: hours later than it was supposed to.

Thank you, Eli, for thinking of it, planning it, and keeping it secret! Now I feel really bad that your surprise party got snowed out.

Tonight the kids are eating with Nanny and Poppy and Eli and I are going downtown to P. F. Changs. Next to a party with my friends, a dinner I don't have to cook is the best birthday celebration. Or any day celebration, for that matter!

P.S. I know that I used an over-abundance of italics. A birthday post about a surprise party warrants that.

Hand-Me-Downs

I bought this dress when Lucy was tiny and couldn't wait till she was big enough to fit it. All too quickly she out grew it and I had to put it away. Now it graces another adorable little girl!

Do you think they look like sisters?

In Which Exodus Books Pays for Our Vacation

Exodus Books has grown every year. Eli always has projects he's orchestrating and goals he's working towards, but after thirteen years the whole thing is big enough that he can't just show up at the store and sit down to the first undertaking that comes to mind. And frankly, we aren't done growing. Eli and I are both dreamers and let me tell you, we dream big. So we called the First Annual Exodus Books Focus Meeting. If one is going to strategize for the future, think creatively about organizing the present, and dream big, the Pacific Coast is the place to go.

See how small those people are? With a sky like that you can't help but wonder, "Who am I?" With the psalmist you ask, "What is man that you are mindful of him?

The sky startles us out of our dreams of vanity, it silences our pride, it stills the lust to get and spend."
-Anthony Esolen, Ten Ways to Destroy the Imagination of Your Child

Our sanctuary of choice was the cozy Sylvia Beach Hotel, right on the beach in the middle of historic Newport, Oregon. "Truly a hotel for book lovers," it was a perfect location for our vision meeting. Each of the rooms are dedicated to a different author--from Jane Austen and Mark Twain to Agatha Christie and Ernest Hemingway. The library overlooks the sea and the cats that roam the halls are fat and friendly.

Eli and I enjoyed two nights at the coast along with our webmaster (my brother) and his wife and our office manager and his wife. On the day in between our other two full-time employees drove down for the epic all-day meeting.

Yes, we had a lot to talk about, but don't worry. There were plenty of snacks provided by Costco (and the lovely wives' kitchens) and we ate a satisfying lunch at the Irish pub down the block. We did manage to make it through the entire agenda, even though the laughter was profuse and exuberant.

I bind unto myself today
The strong Name of the Trinity...
I bind unto myself today
The virtues of the star lit heaven,
The glorious sun’s life giving ray,
The whiteness of the moon at even,
The flashing of the lightning free,
The whirling wind’s tempestuous shocks,
The stable earth, the deep salt sea
Around the old eternal rocks.
-St. Patrick's Breastplate

I wonder if they have assigned seating or if it's just first come first serve?

Do you ever have dreams of flying? I never wish I could fly more than when I'm at the coast watching seagulls glide and soar over the surf. I know they are mangy, selfish scavengers with a tendency to poop on unsuspecting tourists, but when they spread their wings and leave the restrictions of the ground behind, they seem so free. The sky is the limit.

Breakfast Meat

So this morning I put pork into our scrambled eggs (anything to make them more interesting!). It was left over pork chops from dinner and I cut it into strips. Joshua poked a piece onto his fork but to him it wasn't just meat adding flavor to an otherwise boring breakfast dish. No, it was the tongue of a wolf that had been trying to kill him and Lucy. So he killed it and ate it for breakfast. Apparently it was trying to kill them because I killed one of its babies. Each piece that he and Lucy ate came from a different part of this big bad wolf.

Oh, and just now he made me turn off my Grooveshark station (you know, the one with the Proclaimers) so he could listen to Saint Saens' third symphony in C minor.

I love my boy!

Snoring

Esther is supposed to be sleeping right now. I've been giving her naps on my bed so the kids can do their "quiet time" on their beds and I can rest on the couch in my room. Today Esther went to sleep a bit early so she's awake already. She keeps looking over at me and I keep saying the same thing: "Go back to sleep, Esther." Then she rolls back over to rest some more. A minute ago I noticed she was breathing funny, kind of loudly and irregularly. I realized, she is fake snoring. So cute!

Esther's Learning

Yesterday while Esther was playing with this sorter and stacker toy, I noticed that she was actually sorting the colors! If a red shape was on the blue peg when she went to put a blue shape away, she would stop and move the red shape first. And if she grabbed the green shape she would hover over all of them until she found the green peg. It's so fun to watch babies learn!

Making Plans and Accepting God's Way

I have a list of things I would like to do every day. It has things on it like walk with the kids, read both some fiction and some non-fiction, do school and read aloud with the kids, practice my harp that's just sitting there (in the way) getting out of tune, read the Bible. I want to do them every day (-ish) but they're mostly non-essentials that tend to get pushed aside. Most don't take long, but all together the list adds up to four hours of activities. Where can I fit four more hours into my day? Between the dishes and the laundry, the meal planning and grocery shopping, the diapers and the phone calls, the spanking and the napping? I know, if we just quit eating, I'd have time... And this list doesn't even include the projects I'd like to work on such as pictures, knitting, or image work for Exodus.

This morning after sitting down to write these things into a list I began buzzing around the house in an attempt to, you know, get more done. First thing to do was clean up the kitchen. But then, not two minutes after writing up the list, I went to throw away the bag from the loaf of bread I'd made into French toast for breakfast and forgot all about the shards of broken pie plate I'd put in the garbage last night. Slice! Thanks to Lucy's injury last week my medicine container is now quite stocked on bandaids. I pause. I take a minute to staunch the blood and slap a bandaid on my pinkie. I thank God that yes, I can make lists, yes, I can try to get more done, but in the end, He's in control. Man makes the plan, God directs his way...

Motherhood involves a lot of to do lists, a lot of fitting life in between diapers and dishes. But then you have a moment in the midst of it all when you pick up the baby and rock out to "I'm Gonna Be" by the Proclaimers. The fact that you're both still in jammies makes it all the more special. Let me tell you, that's what motherhood's really all about.

Getting some fresh air today. A little rain never stopped us!

A Little Helper

No, she's not really all that helpful, but when you're standing there with your hands in yet another pile of soapy dishes and she independently scoots a chair over so she can get her hands in it too, you just smile and make room at the sink.

Today I determined to attack the pile of mending/alterations that had been growing in my closet. After sewing on a couple buttons I found two blouses that just needed to be ironed. Well, they were sure waiting in the wrong pile! Then I pulled out a couple more projects and made the happy discovery that the bottom half of the bag was full of the leftovers of a project long finished. Fixing and altering still took all afternoon, but it was much more manageable than I first thought!

School and Band-Aids (with pictures!)

Joshua will be five in two weeks. This whole year, with a measure of anxiety and a bit of dread, I kept feeling like I really needed to be teaching him things--you know, letters, numbers and all that. But then I would remember, "Oh yeah, he's only four." Periodically I would pull out alphabet flash cards and when he couldn't distinguish between just A, B or C I would put them away again and wait and watch a little longer. Now, I'm not one of those educating moms who sit and play shapes and colors games for hours with their six-month-old babies. I take the wait-till-they-want-to-learn approach and try to encourage imaginative (and independent) play. But something a friend was saying about high school made me rethink some things and realize that a little challenge would be good for all of us. Even if he isn't learning much about the letters and numbers, he could be learning about sitting still, focusing and following directions. Doing some kind of schooltime would develop good habits that all of us will benefit from when the real challenges come around.

So I took a little trip to Exodus and did some homeschool mom shopping. It was actually pretty fun, too! (Spending money usually is.) So now we have magnet letters and numbers all over the fridge, crayons and pencils, workbooks, and schooltime.

Joshua has learned numbers and counting much more quickly than letters. He still only knows a random scattering of letters but he will pipe up at surprising times (like the middle of church) with, "Three plus four equals seven!" I think he's picking up a few math facts from his uncle Nathaniel, but he has a remarkable memory for them.

Joshua also has a coloring book, but instead of coloring the pictures, he draws lines to tell stories. One day, after coloring a castle orange and red because it was on fire, he drew black lines so the bad guys could be on one side and he and the good guys could be on the other. Today he found an ambulance on another page and after coloring the sirens blue he made it drive through the pages to rescue the inhabitants of the burning castle.

The magnets on the fridge are mostly used to fashion pictures of cars, rockets and creepy monsters.

Lucy wants to be involved in everything Joshua does so she has her box of crayons, coloring book, and workbook. She is not far behind him in pencil skills and letter/number recognition. I bet the two of them will learn to read at the same time.

And then of course there's the baby. But since she just likes to eat the crayons, she gets relocated to the crib with some kind of interesting toy that will hopefully keep her busy enough not to notice what's going on at the table.

If you weren't too busy admiring Lucy's adorable smile you may have noticed the butterfly bandage on her forehead.

She walked right into the open car door on Monday and got the deepest gash that I've had to deal with as a mother. Believe it or not, that is the first band-aid that I've had to put on one of my children. In fact, I had to go out and buy some because I didn't have any in the house! Sure, the kids have fallen down, they've gotten bruised and scraped, but I don't use band-aids unless there is a flow of blood that must be stanched. In this case, the boo-boo needed to be held together. It really didn't bleed that much and since we had just begun cleaning the car, rags were handy. We trotted down to Rite-Aid and, following the directions on the box, I applied my first ever butterfly bandage. Hopefully it won't scar too much!

All of the above pictures were taken with my new camera! Friends were upgrading so I got to chip in towards the new model and keep the old one. Happiness!

A Compliment

My sister-in-law, Hannah, just paid me a high compliment on the state of my kitchen. No, she didn't praise me for having such a clean microwave or wonder how the floor could be so crumb free with three toddlers eating over it twice a day. She said to me, "Your home looks so cozy and lived in!"

We did arts and crafts today. If you know me at all, you will understand what a statement this is. I'm not crafty and I'm kind of a perfectionist. But Lucy's enthusiasm made it all worth it. When I told her what we would be doing she kept dancing around the house exclaiming, "Oh my word!" And about halfway through the cutting and gluing and stickering, she sighed, "This is so fun!"

Instead of washing the breakfast dishes I did things like put Esther's too small clothes away and get out the next size; sort out about half of the pile of dresses she had to pass on to the new little girl cousin she will be getting in the spring; supervise the aforementioned craft time; work on the next Exodus newsletter; change diapers; take a nap...

My house may not be winning any awards for tidy kitchen of the year, but it is indeed being lived in. For a mom of three little ones, Hannah's compliment is high praise indeed.

Decorating

Yes, Thanksgiving is still a week away. Yes, December is still a couple weeks out. No, I'm not one of those people who turns on Christmas music as soon as summer is over. However, it's been dark and chilly enough that I thought some cheery Christmas lights would be nice to have around.

So, today I put up our Christmas decorations. The days may be getting darker, but our home is only getting lighter and more cheerful as we begin to anticipate the celebration of the birth of the King of Light!

*MY* Ergo Carrier

Last night Eli called and asked, "You were interested in trying an ERGO Carrier, right?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," I replied, confused.

"Well somebody read on the website that you wanted one and they stopped by here to give you theirs."

I was so excited! I felt like I had just won a prize or something! And when he brought it home I couldn't believe it was mine. I just had an ERGO carrier dropped into my lap!

Of course I tried it on last night and I could already tell it was going to be both easy to use and quite comfortable. And Esther loved it too! Now I can't wait to take Esther shopping or hiking or just on a walk around the neighborhood.

I will still use my Moby Wrap for cuddling my infants, but after the baby is about six months I have a feeling I will quite frequently use the ERGO to carry him or her on my back.

"The labor of the righteous leads to life..."

It was the middle of the night and I heard ringing. I tried to ignore it. Maybe Eli would take care of whatever it was. Then I realized that it was the phone and I should answer it. I had been invited to attend a friend's delivery, but she wasn't due for a couple days and we all thought she would go about a week past that. When I saw Johanna's name on the cell phone screen, I was still confused. But then she said it. She was really in labor and it was really time to drive down and join her! It felt so strange leaving my family at four in the morning. But Eli had that day off and as I ran down the housekeeping tasks I realized that it really was as good a time as any to be gone.

I had been at two of my brothers' births, but it was completely different being there after giving birth myself. Johanna's mother, her mother-in-law, and I kept giving each other knowing glances. We were having to relax and breath right along with her during each contraction!

It was an honor to be there to watch my friend labor. I've known her since she was a little squirt with big glasses and long, tangled hair. We scampered around together on many an afternoon and now I was waiting with her for her tiny child to make the difficult journey into life. She would make it through each contraction and then lean back smiling sweetly, relieved. Her husband was there for each one, rubbing her back, keeping her focused, praising her, loving her. Towards the end she was dilated and ready, but that stubborn little baby's head was turned the wrong way. That's when she had to lay on the bed in the most uncomfortable position waiting through each contraction for the moment when the head would slide into place. It was her own valley of shadow, but she was surrounded by friends and family and midwives helping, hoping, praying, waiting. But oh, what a wait!

Then finally, all of a sudden, Johanna knew it was time. She turned over and before we knew it we could see a matted, hairy little head! The exhilaration! The joy! We exclaimed, sobbed, and rejoiced! It was only a few more pushes and a new person was born, changing colors and slimy.

"It's a girl!" John cried out and with a catch in his voice he announced, "Here is my daughter, Victoria Faith!"

We sobbed some more as this little girl took her first breaths. We were overjoyed as her lusty cries filled the room. The rest of the evening was spent cooing over tiny hands and listening to every little squeak and snuffle she made. She pooped all over the place, she nursed like she was born for it, and she was perfect in all the ways a brand new person should be.

Little Victoria Faith, your mother is a strong woman. She was not afraid of the task of bringing you into the world and she handled it like a warrior fighting the good fight. Your mother is a beautiful woman. Peace settled on her face as she rested between contractions and she continued to smile sweetly at us, even when she knew another was on the way. And her face just beamed with true inner joy when she was finally able to hold you in her arms. She loves you more than you will ever know until you grow up and have babies of your own. May God bless you and strengthen you and may He grow you up into just such a woman.

Clues

1. I walked past the tomatoes in the grocery store and had a sudden urge to buy some. I don't even like tomatoes.
2. My nose has suddenly acquired super powers.
3. My stomach is not my friend.
4. I am looking seriously for a minivan.

Yep, you guessed it!